How to notice when you are well and truly alive.

How to notice when you are well & truly alive....


It's reassuring that a lot of people agreed with what I said last time about being single - in essence that single people are not the second class citizens that they often wind up feeling, that life can be just as rewarding by choosing to go solo. Looking back over what I'd written, I started to think also about risk-taking. Do people who are single take more risks - because they have more opportunity to do so? Or do they take less risks, and are therefore more likely to stay single? (Which is only a concern of course, if this is not their choice..)

It also got me thinking about ''forced risk,'' something that people here in Christchurch have been doing a lot of over the last 19 months. Through no fault of their own, they have needed to take on so many new challenges, and do so many things differently. Having to move house three times in ten months was more than enough for me - but pretty mild in the overall scheme of things, with regards to what some folks have had to endure.

Christchurch people have been pretty stoic, pretty staunch. We  probably like to think we have more resilience than others, that we would have risen above it all way better than people in other locations. That's nice to think, and maybe thinking like that actually helps us all to soldier on, though I think the reality is we are no more or no less staunch than any people in any other city in New Zealand, or anywhere else for that matter. (feel free to have a look here at some useful ideas for enhancing personal resilience levels). 

But back to the risk-taking... Although so many people have felt overwhelmed and powerless at times, I've still heard so many stories about people rising to challenges, doing so many different and scary things that they hadn't bargained on ever being involved with. And the amazing thing is they have survived it all and started to moved through it - in ways that they would have never previously thought themselves capable of. These people have often been stressed, which is probably to be expected. But they have also been quietly proud and surprised at how they have done. What does this now signal to them about their previously hidden and unknown potential?

The risk-taking experts (yes, of course they exist....) tell us there are so many benefits attached to taking risks. Earthquakes aside, there are a raft of reasons as to why we might need to take more risks.  

It's important to remember that -

• risk-taking is exhilarating. Those moments of risk tell us that we are well and truly alive. Therefore, 
  
• risk opens us up to new possibilities and new opportunities. Even if we don't succeed on that occasion, taking the risk starts to shine a light on what we are really capable of.
  
• risk pushes us to try things that we might never have thought possible and how we rise to face that risk can tell us so much about ourselves, even if the risk is not something we have pursued by choice, but instead have had thrown at us.
• stepping up to face risk tells us we are quietly powerful, and that we can do much more than ourselves or anyone else ever gave us credit for.
• risk-taking can be hugely beneficial to our levels of self-esteem and confidence. It invites others to view us differently, more positively.
• risk-taking is not about actually succeeding at the task associated with the risk. It's about taking the deep breath, hoping for a good outcome, and without being too Nike-ish, just doing it anyway.
• risk-taking makes us more appealing, more interesting and generally more attractive to those who know us - and to those who don't.

I was going to say a little bit more about what actually constitutes risk - but of course this is very individual and  only you can know what it is for you. And although we tend to consider risk to be about doing more of something, it might actually be about doing less, or even ceasing something completely. 

Anyway, remember that thing/person/activity/place/task/challenge/event you've been avoiding? The time is now (I was going to wish you good luck, but of course luck has got nothing to do with it).   

Talk soon - and yeah, I've certainly got plenty to be going on with for myself in the meantime.