Happy New Year. And why there is no holiday...

Well here we are again. In just a matter of days the build up to Christmas is over, and we move in to that weird time of the year when we start to relax and go a bit crazy. What this means for me, is that after just a few days of holiday, I seem to almost  forget how to write. Holding a pen seems really awkward and I can't use it comfortably. Then I start to lose track of the names of the days. The only way I can know how long I have been on holiday is to count back the days to when I think I might have finished work. Fortunately it's only been a few days so far, I think, which is all good. Most people here in Christchurch seem to be in need of these holidays. I know I am, even though I had some time away earlier in the year. It has sure been a busy year. Productive too.


Although the earthquakes seem to be dying down, there are still many  big challenges  ahead for a lot of people and life here remains stressful on many different levels.  So it's  great that it's felt more of a holiday season so far, than it did at this time last year.  That's been helped by the fact that this year, we did not have a series of big quakes right on Christmas, as happened last December 23rd. So people had a more relaxed Christmas this time around.  Hopefully no-one had to shovel liquefaction. And then once Christmas Day was done, it was of course time for the Boxing Day sales. Because by then, the stores had been closed for a day, and there was all that stuff  we then needed to buy. OK...


What goes on for families and relationships at this time of the year is interesting. Christmas  (or whatever else it is for you that draws people together) is of course all about families, and  so we plan the day around who we are going to see, who we are going to eat a big meal with. We will have also laboured over what gifts we are going to buy. Yet we also know that this time of the year brings stress, that families are not always places of harmony, that the recipe of excess food and alcohol can bring out the worst in people. So I hope you had a great Christmas day, that you enjoyed yourself, and that any tensions were put aside, at least until after the turkey had been dealt to.


Now that Christmas day is behind us, there are a few things to keep in mind that can help keep the holidays ahead enjoyable:

1. Remember that the idea & anticipation of holidays is often better in our heads than it turns out to be in reality. What is that about - do we expect too much of our holidays? Is the rest of the year so terrible? Could the holiday period be more enjoyable if we actually lower our expectations?
2. Remember that if we have unresolved issues with someone in the family, and our way to deal with this (or not) is to avoid them, these issues are likely to be intensified if we are spending extended periods of time together over the holidays. So think in advance about how you plan to handle those times - without self-medicating, if you know what I mean...
3. Humans function best with a degree of structure - even though we groan about our routines during the working year, we actually know what we need to do and what is expected of us during the year.  Half of the fun of anticipating holidays, is that we can let go of all that stuff for a while. But  maybe holding on to some routines over the holiday period can actually help us to feel that we have made good use of our valuable time off. Keeping a good sleep pattern going for instance, might be an example. Having set times set aside for some shared activities might also be useful. 
4. Think too, about what makes your important relationships work - what do you notice that you do during the year, that somehow contributes? Rather than seeing the holiday period as being a time that you are somehow absolved from having to think too hard about your relationships, is there stuff that you can do over the holidays, that will set things up well for when the demands of 2013 kick in?
5. Remember if we want our relationships to work, if they are really important to us, we have to work at them. We can never take a holiday from them. Ever. (Yikes...)

That's it - I've got nothing else to say. Not for this year anyway. Other than a big thanks to those of you who continue to visit these pages. It's great to see the number of visitors increasing month by month.  I hope you'll drop by again next year.

Go well over the holiday period, and be sure to enjoy  being in the the company of those who are near to you. Remember too, to  somehow stay connected to those who are further away. 

Best wishes for a happy and rewarding 2013.