I know- I am probably letting the team down here...But you blokes coming out of marriages (and yes women will sometimes do this too, but not as often....), you really do need to slow down, smell the coffee, maybe even drink some of it, before you get into your next relationship....If you have got kids, they need you right now, more than ever before, while they adjust to some huge changes going on in their lives....So don't distract yoursellf right now with a new and shiny relationship- there will be plenty of time for that further down the track. There is other stuff right now, that needs your attention.
There are probably a whole lot of reasons why this happens (ie., why men will re-partner much more quickly than women), but men are not really doing themselves any real favours, and are mainly just distracting themselves from any grief or distress they may be feeling. Even if the marriage/relationship needed to finish, and both 'get' this, or if the man himself has initiated the separation, he will still likely feel sadness. That is OK, that is normal, it is expected- humans will have strong emotional responses to all the big events in their lives, and this, believe it or not, can be an important time of growth. It is not helpful if he tries to distract himself, or derail the emotional response completely, by immersing himself in another relationship right away. If he can't spend some time alone and unpartnered in the world, how will he have the capacity to reflect on what he did to contribute to the decline of his relationship?... And yes I know, you can call me idealistic right about now- there are guys (and women) who do not give a crap about looking at themselves in this way- and that is fine. But then troubles arise in their next relationship also, once the sparkle begins to settle, and so it goes...
On a slightly differnt note, I heard today that divorced/single women in this country currently outnumber men by a ratio of 2:1. Perhaps that's another reason why recently separated guys are never that way for long. They get snapped up and hey, they aren't complaining. Plus they may recognise they do need someone to talk to, and they are more likely to talk to a woman about feelings-related stuff, whereas a newly single woman is more likely to talk with other women..And so much of this too, is influenced by the way men and women are socialised differently from
yay- high... But numbers-wise, things are certainly weighted against women who wish to re-partner...Hang in there anyway ladies- keep your standards high- and don't settle for less!
"Some occasional thoughts about families, relationships, and other things that distract us...."