Back in New York City again, but this time in a different part- Mid Town East Manhattan, so it's nice to get to know yet another part of this amazing metropolis that eight million people call home. Mid town is quieter, yet so many iconic buildings and sites are just a stone's throw away. The city is hot and humid at this time of year, but it never slows down- New York is literally the city that never sleeps.
Big news in this country this week has been the dirty linen being aired about Mel Gibson by his ex partner Oksana Grigorieva (BP must have heaved a sigh or relief when this all blew up). It all got me thinking about the power balance in relationships- and the importance of this..None of us know what it is like for those two in reality- clearly Mel is showing his true colors and in reality is probably the angry and controlling nut-job that we had suspected, following his earlier rants about Jews.. But I think Oksana has been quietly powerful in her own way, in terms of how she has exposed him and turned the tables, even when there was then an enticement of $15 million to shut her up, she was not about to be bought off.
Whilst power in relationships (and again, I'm talking about any close/significant relationship- not just couples) is only one component, never the less, it is an important one. Relationships are always going to be healthier and more balanced if the power is roughly shared... And what I mean by power, includes several different aspects- who decides things, such as how resources (such as money) are managed? Who decides future goals and directions? Are individual views valued, or does one person's view & opinions become subsumed by that of the other? How are tasks and responsibilities managed and shared? Is one person expected to follow the interests of the other, without this being reciprocated? Is one person's development (eg., career, or study) compromised, so that the other person can get ahead?
Relationships can tolerate a power imbalance at times- such as when one person is sick- but overall, the power needs to be shared (even if it is not always an exact 50/50 split), if the relationship is to be healthy and statisfying for both parties.....
"Some occasional thoughts about families, relationships, and other things that distract us...."